mid-day time waster

i don't know about you, but when i listen to political rhetoric i find the frequent snapshot stories the politicians make to ordinary people and their concerns quite patronizing. i don't, as of yet, hate these stories quite as much as the personal interest pieces that have ruined the olympics, every major american sporting event and dancing with the stars, but i could do without them nonetheless.

for this reason, today's mid-day time waster assignment is to put your own snapshot story into one of the leading presidential candidate's mouths. feel free to ridicule the pol all you want, but let's keep it relatively clean.*

"Speaking to a re-energized crowd in Huntington, West Virginia, Ms. Clinton spoke to her core constituency by sharing the following story. 'As we celebrate this magnificent victory tonight and recommit ourselves to the goal of winning this nomination, I cannot help but think of Lilly Ann Miller who I met in Clarksburg last week. Lilly Ann is a single mother who served as an administrative assistant at West Virginia Coal Cooperative for twenty years until she was sidelined by type one diabetes and carpal tunnel syndrome. As Lilly Ann and I shared a funnel cake and a Diet Coke she told me that after all her years of hard work she is now uninsured and has no money to pay for the gastrointestinal bypass procedure that will help her lose weight and just might save her life. Under my opponent's health care plan, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, regular folk like Lilly Ann would not have access to the gastrointestinal procedure and might have to attempt to crack back into the college educated workforce in order to ensure the procedure that she so clearly deserves. If you love empowered women like Lilly Ann, like I do, and you are committed to ensuring that every American has the opportunity to access optional medical procedures, please visit my web site HillaryClinton.com. On that site you'll have an opportunity not only to make a donation, but also to join other small-town, life-long Americans who are committed to electing the candidate who will be ready on day one!'"

* this is, after all, a family blog.

for the record

i would be the worst.stay-at-home.mom.ever. it's not that i fail to get anything done when i'm home with a sick preston. rather every time i'm home alone with him i find a way to get nothing done.

there must be a special place in hell for men like me who've made fun of stay-at-home moms over the years. i admit it, on a couple of occasions in the past i have been an ignorant, misogynistic bastard when discussing this issue. i am truly sorry and i humbly repent.

buzz bissinger on blogs

i realize that i'm really late to this story - as well as pretty much every other story that has taken place over the past four weeks - but two weeks ago buzz bissinger, the author of the superb friday night lights, and will leitch, a dedicated cardinal fan and the editor-in-chief of deadspin one of the quirkiest, funniest and most popular sports sites on the net, squared off on costas now.

if you watch the clip* you'll notice that bissinger prefaces the conversation by defaming leitch for defaming athletes and then proceeds to eviscerate, with costas' help, sports blogs for posting pictures of athletes making arses of themselves, providing a forum for commenters to ridicule espn hosts and refusing inside access to press boxes and clubhouses, which are, apparently, the only place that sports writers can ascertain "facts" about athletes and athletic events.**

i think this clip is fascinating not only because of bissinger's ad hominem attacks as well as he and costas' apparent agreement to irrationally conflate blogs such as deadspin with more traditional sports reporting. i am also fascinated by both bissinger's implicit claim that "objectivity" in sports journalism is both possible only with a press pass and buzz's apparent ignorance of, or indifference towards, the fact that many mainstream sports journalists are now utilizing the blogosphere as well.

one more thing: in all of the analysis of this conflict that i've read thus far, no one has pointed out the fact that, for all his high minded arguments and significant writing ability, bissinger is not above writing a puff piece such as three nights in august which was commissioned by his subject and failed to contribute anything about la russa's managerial "genius" that could not be gleaned from one chapter of george will's men at work.

in sum, bissinger appears simply to be a profane, cranky old man bent on fighting irrelevance by shaking his fists at the inevitable. i should also add that although he comes off as a smart-ass know-it-all at times in this clip, i thought leitch fought his way out of this ambush quite well.


* which is not work safe, by any means. for the record: watching a clip in which bob costas utilizes the term "f*ck face," while strangely rewarding, will almost certainly draw the ire of your boss.
** which, in my opinion, many of us, including myself, take waaay to seriously than we should.

The Friendly Ghost and You: An Open Discussion Concerning the Holy Spirit

Slowfo: What if someone told you that there were 2.1 billion people in the world who had the literal ghost of Elvis Presley embedded in their body? Do you think you'd notice? And if you would notice, would it be obvious? Would they dance or sing better than most? Would they say "Thankyouverymuch" as all one word? Would they have a strong attraction to both drugs and doughnuts?

My point is that it doesn't seem to me that people really notice very much that the actual Spirit of the living God of the universe is embedded in the bodies of 2.1 billion Christians around the world. Don't you think Jesus-followers should stand-out a little more? Shouldn't there be a more obvious distinction between someone who has God's Spirit leading them and someone who doesn't? Or does the Holy Ghost really just have a more laid back personality than the Father and Son? Or is this where the more charismatic influence comes into play? I have few answers but many questions on this.

Gentry: Scott, I have more questions than answers in this arena as well. The fact that we grew up in a church tradition that was terrified of the Pentecostal/Charismatic traditions doesn’t help matters much. For my part, I can’t lay all of the blame for my ignorance at the feet of either our forbears or hucksters such as Kenneth Copeland and Creflo Dollar. Since I worship with a number of Pentecostals I should have more of a perspective.

Anyway…I do think that the Holy Spirit should play a more significant role in the life of the Christian community and the individual believer. However, I suspect that far too often Christians, such as myself, have limited the influence of the Holy Spirit by seeking His presence in ecstatic experiences rather than in the midst of service. I know that for a number of years I expected to find the Holy Spirit in the midst of a rousing rendition of Better Is One Day during the True Devotions service at Soybean Bible. Where I didn’t expect to connect with him was in the midst of cleaning a toilet at L’Arche or pounding the pavement between employers whom I was hoping would give my clients an opportunity to work. I’ll give you three guesses where the Holy Spirit seemed to show up…

In the last year or so, I’ve felt the power and presence of the Holy Spirit at work when I have asked him to empower and guide me as I served the interests of others. More and more, I’m beginning to suspect that God is not as interested in worship wherein he is the sole object so much as he is interested in a form of worship in which he can interact and instrumentally empower us as we serve others. Don’t get me wrong, I still think there are good reasons to intentionally honor and praise God for His blessings. However, I think that our ecstatic experiences of God are more likely to occur in the midst of our attempts to actually be a blessing to the world. Maybe God is less interested in us swaying with our hands outstretched, singing and envisioning Him on the throne than he is interested in meeting us along the way as we pursue - with his absolutely essential help! - the mission of His Kingdom in this world.

I don’t have the time to root all of this in scripture at the moment, but I think that this connection between ecstatic experience/empowering connection with the Holy Spirit and mission is evident in the Acts narratives (see chapter 2, 6 and 9).

One more thing: if we’re to liken the Holy Spirit to Elvis, I suspect that his theme song is A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action.

on the next restorer


ht: junkyard

personal metrics

over the past eight years i have:

received 2 speeding tickets and 1 citation* for the destruction** of public property
served in a mega-church, a home church and a non-denominational church
had six girlfriends,*** one wife, one son and two dogs****
moved five times*****
fallen out of infatuation with the dave matthews band
fallen into infatuation with the sopranos, the office, fnl****** and the wire
smoked.quit smoking.smoked.quit smoking.smoked.quit smoking.smoked*******
watched******** six different teams win the world series
had seven different jobs at four different companies
owned or partially owned four vehicles
become an npr supporting member
started a blog
alienated old friends and reconciled with old enemies
married three couples
buried, fortunately, no one*********
swam naked in the seminary pool
attended two conferences
embraced arminian, reformed and idontknowimemergent theologies
baptized********** one close friend
preached 35 pretty awful sermons and 2, 3 or 4 decent ones
been pressed into service as, gulp, a street minister
developed ongoing, life sustaining relationships with the disabled communities in toronto, canada and medford, massachusetts
sustained, and been sustained by, a long-term connection with my spiritual director
obtained*********** a masters in divinity degree from s.h.i.t.

* beat it
** via urine
*** one of whom was dumped in transit
**** one of whom succumbed to sodium pentathol the other to old age
***** and helped j & b move three and, soon to be, a fourth time
****** later retracted
******* see also: drinking
******** but, sadly, only one in person
********* not counting the two dogs
********** and thus, according to the southern baptist friend of my youth, secured my slot in heaven
*********** pending unforeseen objections by the faculty character committee or completely unprovable unfounded charges of plagarism

almost makes me miss home



ht: the sports guy

mid-morning time waster

if you're having a rough day at work or just hate your job in general, stop by mcsweeney's and leaf through their interviews with people who have interesting or unusual jobs feature.

for my part, i found the interviews that discussed the secrets joys of whippets in the pump room, country crock receptacles and the ethical distinctions between band-aids and pasties quite entertaining.

if you're completely satisfied with your chosen profession and ethically abstain from surfing the net at work there is no reason for you to explore this quirky column. i hope that the rest of you read a few and share your reflections below.

file under: inevitability

welcome to gloucester mrs. jesse james.

don't paw at me with your dirty little guild

for many years, the goddard library and the s.h.i.t. campus have stood in my imagination as grave markers that announced the death of my long abandoned academic aspirations and served as an impediment to my developing social conscience and resultant activism.

however, as i grind my last exegesis paper out of my arse and prepare to graduate in absentia on saturday, may 10th, i am obliged to report that, however unexpectedly, i have once again found myself at home within the dusty stacks of the s.h.i.t. library. in the late summer of 2000 i was borne into the library upon the waves of intellectual arrogance and half-formed hopes of joining the theological guild. now, as i leave the library and am washed upon the north shore, i do so as an intellectually humbled, dedicated churchman who is more intimately acquainted with my ignorance than any intellectual subject and whose ambition simply to serve.

i realize and repent of the fact that in years past the library was nothing more than a brick with which i hoped to build my own pathetic little kingdom. as i move forward, i intend to stumble through the bowels of goddard in search of towels with which to serve.

the gathering welcomes: will sampson

hey all, on monday, april 28th at 7 pm will sampson will be stopping by the gathering to discuss how we can pursue justice in the midst of our ordinary lives. this discussion is sure to be engaging, relatively open ended and absolutely free.

this discussion evening is a part of the two dollars a day event that is being co-hosted by boston's emergent cohort and the crossing community in downtown boston.

if you have questions about this event, please feel free to contact me directly at gentry13ATgmail.com. for more info on the two dollars a day event, check out the cohort website.

A True Fan?
Submitted by: Slowfo

I couldn't help but laugh as I read this weekend's story about a Red Sox fan/construction worker who tried to "curse" the new Yankee stadium by burying a David Ortiz jersey in the freshly poured concrete of the new Yankee Stadium. Although as I lifelong Orioles fan I am also a card carrying Yankee hater, I have noticed lately that there seems to be a lot more loud-mouthed Red Sox fans these days than I remember growing up in the eighties. Why? You know why.....bandwagon-jumpers. Love 'em or hate 'em, bandwagon-jumpers are a reality of the sports world. And it begs the question, "Who is a true fan?"

I have to point out that if you're reading this and you've been an avid Red Sox fan for 15+ years, kudos to you. You've seen your team suck and have ridden the low points to now enjoy the victor's spoils. Yankee fan's bravado however is laughable. I don't ever want to hear a Yankee describe themselves as a "true Yankees fan." No such thing. What does that mean anyway? That their fandom has stretched all the way through their century of winning and world championships?? Wow.......impressive. You've really got character Yankee fan. Tell ya what, when you've suffered through ten-plus years of no post-season, then come talk to me. Better yet, since you guys have won so much and to balance things out better, wait until you've not even sniffed a World Series for a century and then we'll talk. Cubs fans have earned my respect for sticking with a team that has shown such ineptitude for so long (or maybe that feeling I've got is pity for their stupidity?).

On the flip side, I hear reports that long-suffering Red Sox fans are arrogantly upset about their own new fans that have cropped up in the last two years causing them to scream, "Where were you back when this team needed you?!" (which is actually not unlike some snooty Christians and their disdain over "Christmas and Easter" church-goers - but that's another story altogether). You Bostonians who read this blog can attest to whether or not these reports are valid.

All of this I present to you, dear reader. What is the definition of a "true fan?" Does it matter how long a person has followed a team whether it be weeks or decades? Should bandwagon-jumpers be held accountable as the sports-following whores that they really are? And lastly, does anyone know a way that we can sneak into the new Yankee Stadium for our own personal desecration of what will be the new Yankee clubhouse?

In Praise of Bureaucracy. An Inside Look at the FAA Inspired Crisis at AA

Editor’s Note: I realize this blog doesn’t usually cover airline affairs. However, I have had a number of conversations about the recent maintenance related groundings at AA, the pix & p had to reroute their trip on account of cancellations and this topic is all over the news. So when a friend of the family who works in a management role at AA recently sent me this harangue concerning the crisis, I thought it’d be interesting to post. I realize that the post does not strive for objectivity and overuses capitalizations and ellipses. But I can vouch for the competency of the source and thought you might like to hear an informed perspective on AA’s recent trials.


“As you may or may not know I work for American Airlines on the MD-80's here in Tulsa. I was directly involved with sending mechanics all around the country trying to make the FAA happy. My own MD-80 in the dock was also up for their inspection and was it a trial and tribulation in hypocrisy. I am now so disillusioned with the FAA. I had always had a somewhat positive attitude for them because of what they have to do. Theirs in undoubtedly a daunting task. But after this last bureaucratic mess I am now convinced their leadership and the inspectors on the airplanes have a fantastic degree in bureaucracy and most likely have never even changed spark plugs in their car let alone know about the silver thing with wings and the round thingies in back that are loud. Yes, there are excellent employees in the FAA and do a great job because they have common sense. Not this leadership group.

You cannot believe the idiocy we had to put up with. THIS WAS NEVER A SAFETY OR FLIGHT issue.....but basically how many tie wraps and washers there were and were they in the correct place. Total stupidity. I would have flown any of them with my granddaughter! As an example, we would get the FAA to sign off on an airplane in Dallas and as soon as it would get to Chicago another FAA inspector would ground the airplane that the job was not correct. This info came from a mechanic from my dock out in the field.....not hearsay. Because they got burned with Southwest they go after AA. They have no one to blame but themselves for not listening to those out in the field. What a crying shame the money lost, jobs in jeopardy, our customers so inconvenienced, the slander they put out or implied (we helped them write the original Airworthiness Directive because they don't know enough about the airplane)...............yet they don't care what overseas maintenance facilities do to our airplanes. These wires are connected to a hydraulic unit that is USED ONLY ON THE GROUND to get pressure for the brakes before engine start....not in the air.

Their priorities are skewed because of the butt chewing they are getting from Congress.............good. If they would ever really work with the airlines instead of trying to see what havoc they can cause maybe they could be a partner. But no, they are the FAA and know it all. BS. They are in it to move up the ladder all the while we lose 10's of millions of dollars, PR problems to last for years, while they sit back in their offices toasting each other on how they got 'American'. Congratulations Southwest Region FAA. Pat yourself on the back. Job well done for a bureaucrat. Good god, you must be so proud.

AA was only one of two airlines that did not go into bankruptcy (Southwest the other) in the last few years. Three airlines went out of business last week and another into bankruptcy Friday. The airline business takes an enormous amount of money to run, to but parts, and all these upstarts don't have a clue what it really takes. So we must be doing something, actually a hell of lot of things correct. The amount of money we spend on our maintenance is nothing short of staggering. Did you know the most junior mechanic can keep a jet form flying if he/she is concerned about an issue? I personally have not allowed a jet to be put into service until some additional items were reconfirmed. We take safety as the #1 PRIORITY. We have so many checks and balances......... Check with the others. Ever since I have been at American I really don't see how we do it. While, you can see by the Wall Street Journal article below the FAA is in for yet another PR debacle when even an outsider can see their never ending faults. I now really wonder, traffic delays, the Hoover law, understaffed control towers, the air traffic control system behind the times..........what really do they do right????? They always want accountability................who is watching those that watch us! Yes, the FAA will put a dandy spin on this. I can hardly wait to see it.

These are my own thoughts and I do not represent AA but there are a bunch of us who are just fit to be tied over this. We take our job VERY seriously. Remember, we and our families, like my granddaughter, fly these birds also.”